“Remember that life isn’t what it looks like on Instagram.”
These were words I wrote back on one of my Instagram posts in September. I’ve had a hard time in the blogging world, in finding my voice, in knowing what is the story I want to tell. I started off this blog because I just wanted to tell my story, to feel special in any way I could. Ever since I was little, I felt like I was made for so much more than just the small towns my family and I ended up living in (we moved around a lot and often I felt like I didn’t fit in). Then I moved to France, and a ding went off in my head. I would just blog about my life in France! It would be THAT easy. As you probably can predict, it has not ended up being easy. My first year in France was very tumultuous, very difficult and my second year was recovering from the first (I don’t like to share much about the situation because it involves others). Then I started school and balancing that with a job and a blog has been very difficult. But not only has balancing all my three worlds been hard… there is so much more.
I have been comparing myself to everyone in the blogging world. I am not one of those model looking girls. If you have been following me for a while, you might remember my post about my feelings toward my body a few years ago. I see all these social media accounts that just look so perfect, and I can’t help but think, “why am I not doing that? Why don’t I look like that?” I go through stages where I have so much confidence in myself and what I am doing, and then I go through stages where I freak out and go on a social media blackout because I feel like I’m not growing as fast as well as I should. I compare myself to other bloggers who are killing it, but when I don’t see my follower count growing, I feel like I am failing.
Recently I read an article about a woman who went into debt because she wanted to have the “Instagram picture perfect life“. In some ways it shocked me, in others, it didn’t. Online, people have to keep up an image. We have to get the likes. We have to gain the followers. But why?
Social media, as much as I love it, I’ve learned can be toxic. We always post about living our best lives and looking our finest. When we aren’t doing that, we can feel like we’re failing in some way. We have to be conscious of what we are seeing and remind ourselves that the online world is not what reality looks like.
Bisous, besos, xoxo,
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